Haiku This
by Aristotle Freud
Summary: The Scoobies fight a vicious haiku war...parodying characters with japanese poetry...*this chapter: The Potentials*
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I just parody them.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story idea belongs to Kant Newton and the Fruitcake Alliance, of which I am a member.  It is used with permission.

The first chapter introduces the characters in haiku form.  Following chapters will focus on interactions between the characters.

**Buffy**

She has the power

Now we must reiterate

She has the power

**Xander******

Ordinary Joe

With a demon fixation

Ain't that rock candy

**Willow******

"Not having good day

think I'll destroy the world now

how's that sound, Xander?"

**Spike**

Evil, no he's good

I hope he takes his shirt off

And stops that babbling

**Giles**

In times of great strife

He polishes his glasses,

Then goes to England

**Anya******

Likes sex and money

She probably does

Not wear underwear

**Riley**

Really a robot

Controlled by evil bunnies

An's right about them

**The First**

Scary music plays

We all get it already

Evil is evil

**Andrew**

The token nerd guy

Cause Xander's not anymore

and balance is kept

**Faith**

Has tattoo on face

Reading: there is a fine line

Between good and bad

**TBC… **next up, see Buffy pine for Angel in haiku form… see Willow destroy the world, in haiku form… and Spike takes off his shirt, in haiku form… and the Potentials realize they don't matter, in Haiku form… Faith kicks Connor's ass (even though that's on Angel, I just enjoyed it so much), in, you guessed it HAIKU FORM.

For more haiku goodness, please review…and a gold star to anyone who can review in haiku forms

Flames more than welcome, especially if you haiku it!


	2. Potentials

DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, I just make fun of them with Japanese poetry.  The "Haiku War" conceit is property of Kant Newton of the Fruitcake Alliance.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm going to be jumping from season to season, but I'll try to let you all know exactly what season I'm in.  This one is in Season Seven, dedicated to alllllllof those Potentials.

Also, the "Songs" are given from the perspectives of the characters.  If Kennedy's song says she is better than the other potentials, it just means that she THINKS she is better, etc.

I loathed them all equally.

HAIKU THIS, CHAPTER TWO: Potential for what?

PROLOGUE: The Situation

The Potentials sit

Around in a big circle

Playing duck, duck, goose

KENNEDY'S SONG

I am Kennedy

Wealthy with so sharp features

Bow down to me, slime

CHLOE'S SONG

Snivel, snivel, sniff

Why do I look like the girl

From the Lizzie show?

KENNEDY'S SONG 2

Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck

Which of you stupid maggots

Should I pick as goose?

AMANDA'S SONG:

Pick me, pick me please

I have a misshapen head

And screwed Dawn over

DAWN'S SONG:

Not a Potential

I am an expert linguist

For convenience sake

INTERLUDE:

Confused Potentials

Wonder just how Dawn can read

Old Sumerian

KENNEDY'S SONG 3

I will play this game

Even though I am better 

Than the rest of you

Lesbian kisses

With willow have assured me

That yes I will live

NAMELESS POTENTIAL SONG

Allow me to look 

At Kennedy with wide eyes

I wish I could speak

VI's SONG

I have red hair

So even if I don't speak

I am recognized

INTERLUDE

As Kennedy picks

Rona for the goose, others

Realize they all suck

RONA'S SONG

Um… are you guys sure

That this is a good idea

I don't want to die

MOLLY'S SONG

Listen to my voice

Awful accent, isn't it?

None of us will die

INTERLUDE 2

A plot bunny comes,

writes the word "DIE" in marker

on Molly's forehead

All of the girls then

Do notice a startling trend

About which girls die

All the Potentials

With accents (Eve, Annabelle)

Are destined to die

EPILOGUE

The whining threshold 

Is passed for the room, and then

The whole room implodes

TBC… REVIEW… Next up…Buffy whines about being pulled out of heaven, Spike takes off his shirt, and a review of all of the earlier seasons, including naked angel at the beginning of season three.

REVIEW!  

Oh, and here's the GOLD STAR for those of you who reviewed in haiku form.  YOU ROCK!


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